Particularly depressed today.. Not everyone I work with knows what has happened to me and my son.. When he was born announcements were sent out to everyone in my area. My picture in the company directory is a picture of Sage and has been since Sage was 5 mos old. When he was first taken it was all I could do to even come in to work and if I didn't pay my attorneys no one else would. Most nights I didn't sleep and every waking moment I was worried and scared. I didn't know where my son was only that he was somewhere along the extremely violent US/Mexican border by Arizona with a naive and irresponsible mother who claimed she couldn't find a phone.. I needed to keep working and wanted to be able to without having people asking me what was going on all the time. I couldn't deal with that too so I didn't mention it to most work acquantices who asked about my son. They were making small talk around the office and asking about someone's small kids is ussually as safe and innocous a topic as the weather. Neither they, nor I, wanted to get into a long depressing conversation about international kidnapping so I would just change the subject. My managers know and a lot of people I work with also know now, but not everyone.. We had a lot of snow this past weekend, which is rare for NC, and I was talking to a work friend and complaining about how it had to happen over the weekend. He's a great father to two boys and always talking about some project or activity he's doing w/ them. He told me it wasn't so bad since he took his kids out sledding and to play in the snow... and asked me if I'd taken Sage out to play in it... and now I'm sitting in my cubicle trying not to cry..
